Remembering Victor

My father lost his partner a couple of weeks ago. It was sort of expected, but sudden all the same. We made a quick trip up to OR to be there for my dad and to pay our respects to Victor. True, we didn't have a strong bond with Victor due to distance and also due to the age at which they started their relationship, but I did respect him and their love. Victor was a Vietnam Veteran...he was also an elementary school teacher, father of four, an avid gardener, and someone who loved my father with all his heart and soul. He was someone I could rely on to tell me if my Dad needed me even if Dad was trying to protect me.

His service was full Military Honors up at Willamette National Cemetery. I've never been to a military funeral before even though many of those in my family who have already passed on could have had those honors at their services. Hearing TAPS and those gun shots was fairly emotional. I wasn't sure that I would cry, but seeing my Dad suffer, seeing his internal struggle to stay strong even though he lost a part of his heart was so terrifyingly horrible. To know that there is nothing you can say or do to make that person feel whole again...it was hard. But I know that Dad is strong and resilient. And I know that he was grateful that we were there for him.

I know that my dad is stronger than he looks...and that he will be ok.

It made me think about my own mortality as well as those around me. It made me think about making plans for the future, since we do not know what will happen at any given second of any given day. I know that as soon as this happened, Dave and I had several in depth conversations about what we want, and made the decision that as soon as we do cross that threshold into pre-parenthood (ie pregnancy) we will be sitting down to write out our wills and last wishes/requests. Not so morbid, but more of a planning session...and for someone who desperately needs to plan things out, even if things don't necessarily follow that plan, it has to happen.