There are some things that cannot be explained nor understood.
There are some things that are just there.
You cannot change them, nor the people that decide those outcomes.
No matter how much I wish I could go back and change certain things, no matter how hard my heart wishes, I cannot go back and save those that I love from being destructive.
Sweet cousin...even though you were my cousin-in-law, we were related. We had tiffs like blood relatives do, we made up like friends do...we had inside jokes, many nights shared laughing, nicknames we called one another and you even tried to beat me up like my brother.
I will never understand how you could cut your life so short and leave behind so much.
Reuben, New Years Eve 2004
But no matter where you are right now, I want you to know that I love you. I have always loved you. I am so thankful for the time that we were able to share and I regret not telling you more often how much you meant to me. I wish that I had done that more than anything...told you how much we all love you. I don't think that would have made a difference in the end, but at least you would have known.
I hope that you can now find the peace you had been searching for, even if your peace is no longer includes being here with us. You are now in your heaven...but I still hope that Grams is scolding you =) And then trying to feed you meatballs and sausage.
Rest in Peace dear brother, you will be sorely missed and much loved.
Dave and Reuben...circa late 90s?
Dave and Reuben, June 2012
Reuben toasting us at our wedding, September 2006
To those of you who knew and loved Reuben, I will update this post once I have more information regarding his service as well as his obituary.
More for my memory, here is an interview Reuben gave to a Colorado Springs news station just a few weeks ago.
